There’s a saying that you should never say never, but I’m a rebel, so here we are. Queen, here are nine things you should never do:
Lower Your Standards
One thing you should never do is lower your standards. Your standards are your standards. Not everyone can meet them. And that’s ok. But never let anyone make you feel guilty about your standards. Chances are, that guilt trip is just an attempt to get you to lower them, allowing others to have access to you, at a discount. Sis, don’t fall for the old okey doke. You have nothing to gain and everything to lose by lowering your standards.
Settle
Another thing you should never do is settle. Going after your goals and dreams is hard. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. Along the way, you’ll get discouraged and likely be tempted to settle for a life that’s ok or good enough. Don’t do it. With settling comes regret – regret of wondering what could’ve happened if you would’ve kept going instead of settling. Whenever you’re tempted to throw in the towel, push through because nothing good ever comes from settling.
Give Up on Yourself
No matter how hard life gets, never give up on you. There will be times where the only person believing in you is you. If you give up on you, how is anyone else supposed to believe in you? It’s no one else’s job to carry you over the finish line. You have to do it for you.
Compromise Your Integrity
Compromising your integrity is another thing you should never do. Trust is hard to come by and even harder to regain, once lost. This is why your word is everything. You have nothing to gain and everything to lose by not being a woman of your word.
View Failure as Final
Failure is never final. As Henry Ford famously stated, “Failure is the opportunity to begin again, only this time more intelligently.” We live in a culture that glorifies perfection and stigmatizes failure, when in reality, failure is part of the process. Now, that’s not to say that failure feels good, but if you’re willing to learn from it, failure can teach you more than winning ever could.
Talk Negative to Yourself
Talking negatively to yourself is one thing you should never do. Words are powerful. They have the power to lift you up, energize you or tear you down so watch how you speak to yourself. The more you say something, the more you begin to believe it. If you say things like, “This will never get better,” or “My life sucks,” you’ll begin to believe those negative words. Now, I’m not telling you to lie to yourself, but I am telling you to stop sabotaging yourself with negative talk. Instead, speak positive words to yourself.
Allow Others to Make You Feel Small
One thing none of us should put up with is bad behavior from others. Pay attention to those people who try to dim your light or clip your wings. You have nothing to gain by letting these people take up space in your life, so do your best to limit time with them.
Shrink to Make Others Comfortable
Never shrink to make others comfortable. Here’s the thing – you were meant to be great and take up space. However, not everybody will be able to handle it and that’s cool – to each her own. What you should never do, however, is dim your light or shrink yourself to make others comfortable. The experience will leave you about as comfortable as wearing a dress two sizes too small. Anyone who can’t handle you full strength isn’t for you, so keep it moving. Free that time and space up for those who you’ll never have to shrink for.
Tolerate Disrespect
Under no circumstances should you ever tolerate disrespect. The truth is we teach people how to treat us. People will do whatever we are willing to put up with. So, if you put up with disrespect, not only are you teaching people to disrespect you, but that it’s ok for them to continue disrespecting you. Queens don’t tolerate disrespect. You can’t change people’s behavior, but you sure can limit their access to you.
What’s on your never do list? Drop ’em below.
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