You’ve been laid off, you’ve got bills to pay, your unemployment’s been denied and none of the jobs you’ve applied for are calling you back. Nothing about your present circumstances is your fault, but despite your best efforts, nothing’s moving. You feel helpless, hopeless, busted and disgusted. Sound familiar? To make matters worse, you jump on the ‘gram, only to see everyone apparently living their best lives – brunches, baes and trips, oh my! Huhhhh! You text a few family and friends, just to get a little consolation, but instead you get a little judgment, some empathy, but not an ounce of the pity you were looking for. Here’s the thing – no one’s coming to your pity party, Sis. No one. Nobody. Not one single soul, save a few haters and some Internet trolls (that’s what happens when you emote on social media). You might be going through this or another such storm, so what’s next?
Your Feelings Are Valid
Now that we’ve confirmed no one’s coming to your pity party, it’s time to move forward. First of all, whatever you’re going through, for whatever reason, your feelings are valid. You have the right to feel upset, disappointed, sad, hopeless, betrayed or whatever emotion you’re feeling about your situation. Identify those feelings and acknowledge them. Now that you’ve identified and acknowledged them, let them out. Whether it’s praying, journaling, going to counseling or talking to yourself out loud, give voice to those feelings so they don’t keep you stuck. Your feelings are valid, but please don’t let them rule you – feelings are great servants, but horrible masters.
You Can Feel Sorry For Yourself or Save Yourself, But Not Both
Here’s the thing – you can feel sorry for yourself or you can save yourself, but you can’t do both. The cavalry isn’t coming to your pity party to save you, Sis. You’ve got to figure ‘ish out and decide if you’re going to quit and stay stuck where you are, or come up with a plan to move forward. No, it may not be your fault as to how you got where you are right now, but it’s your responsibility to come up with a plan to navigate your way out. No one is going to care more about your present situation than you. While your loved ones may sympathize with your present predicament, they’re going to move on with their lives (as they should). Much like you, they’ve got their own stuff to deal with. At the end of the day, whether you decide to feel sorry for yourself or save yourself is up to you. Choose wisely.
Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That
In the humorous, yet immortal words of our beloved Sis, Sweet Brown, ain’t nobody got time for that! Time for what, exactly? Time for self pity. It’s a waste of time, energy and of your imagination. Pitying yourself won’t resolve your present problems or get you one step closer to where you want to be. Instead of wasting time planning your pity party, spend that time doing something useful like coming up with an escape plan and executing it. No one’s coming to your pity party, Sis, and I hope that includes you too.
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