Unpopular opinion: I’ve always hated the term fake it ‘til you make it. The term literally grates my soul. Why? I don’t see the value in pretending to be something or someone that you’re not. Fake it ‘til you make it has always been a problematic and harmful concept to me and here are a few reasons why:
You Can’t Get the Help You Need Pretending You Don’t Need it
When you pretend to know everything and have it altogether, no one is going to argue with you. They assume that if you say you’ve got it, you’ve got it and if you did need help, you’d ask for it. Fake it ‘til you make it pins you into making unnecessary mistakes and wasting time all because you’re pretending you have it altogether. If you’re honest about not knowing everything and that you need help, you can avoid a lot of headache, costly mistakes and time wasted.
Fake it ’til you make it? Don’t do it.
It Creates Anxiety
Faking it ‘til you make it also creates anxiety. When you know you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re always looking over your shoulder, worried about being found out. That constant fear of being found out builds, day after day, week after week, creating unnecessary anxiety.
It Compromises Your Credibility
Your credibility is very important, especially in your career. When you pretend by faking it ‘til you make it, you compromise your credibility. Why? Because you get people to buy into you based on how you present yourself. They have no reason to believe anything other than what you’re holding yourself out to be. They put faith in you, based on your word. If you drop the ball because you’ve pretended to be something that you’re not, you impact all those people who bought into you, based on what you presented to them. And once your credibility is compromised, it’s hard to rebuild.
It Makes You Feel Like a Fraud
Pretending was fun when we were kids, but not so much as adults. Whenever you have to pretend for prolonged periods of time, you begin to feel like a fraud. And I don’t know about you, but faking isn’t fun. It brings with it the stressful, negative feelings of being a phony and a fraud. Pretending to be something that you’re not implies that what you are isn’t good enough.
You Miss Out on the Opportunity to Help Someone Else
We’re all in a state of becoming. None of us have it all figured out. Yet, so many women feel alone and lonely, like they’re the only ones experiencing problem x, y or z because so many others are pretending to have everything altogether. Now, I’m not saying we have to go around airing our dirty laundry or spilling our guts. But how powerful would it be to admit that you don’t have it all figured out? How many women would you be helping by not faking it ‘til you make it, but being transparent about where you are?
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