In this day and age, it’s important to know how to handle conflict. Whether it’s a friendship, business matter or romantic relationship, conflict is a regular part of life. Conflict isn’t necessarily a bad thing though. It can actually be a good thing, especially if you know how to handle it. Here are a few tips to help you do just that:
Don’t Jump to Conclusions
If jumping to conclusions were an Olympic sport, I’d be a multiple gold medalist. Lol. No, but seriously. In the past, in the midst of conflict, I’ve tended to jump to conclusions when I didn’t know all the details of the problem. I’d literally create a narrative when the facts weren’t available. Once I’d created that narrative, I’d act off of it versus waiting to act off the facts. And guess what? My narrative was almost always worst than reality and completely off base. Womp, womp, womp. I then had to talk myself off a ledge, that I wouldn’t have even been on, had I waited for the facts versus jumping to conclusions. Moral of the story: when you’re dealing with conflict, don’t jump to conclusions. There’s a good chance you’ll not only be wrong, but also make the matter more difficult than it is. Wait for the facts to come in before acting and moving forward.
Me, jumping to conclusions…
Set Ground Rules for Discussion
In order to try to resolve any conflict you’re going to have to have a discussion with the opposing party. However, before doing so, it’s best to set ground rules for the discussion. Ground rules establish boundaries that serve to benefit all those involved. They help keep the discussion open, but respectful.
Talk to Each Other, Not at Each Other
Once you’re in discussion with the other party, it’s important that you talk to each other and not at each other. In other words, listen to understand, not to respond. Listening to understand doesn’t even mean that you’ll agree with the other party’s side. It just means you’re committed to understanding their point of view. Also, make it a point not to interrupt the other party while s/he is talking. Nothing makes conflict more difficult than being talked over while you’re trying to express yourself.
Keep it Respectful
Conflict isn’t grounds or an excuse to be disrespectful. If you’re trying to resolve a conflict, disrespect will only add fuel to the fire. Also, once you’ve said words, those words can’t be unsaid. You and the other party might get past the incident, but that disrespect won’t be easily forgotten. Also, it’s important to outline to the other party what you deem disrespectful. Personally, I perceive cursing at me, calling me out of my name and yelling at me, as disrespectful. What one deems as disrespectful will vary from person to person.
Be Honest
You can’t attempt to resolve conflict without being honest. Honesty isn’t always pretty. Sometimes honesty can be difficult. However, there can’t be any change where there’s no honesty. You can’t address what you refuse to acknowledge. Honesty is a must in how to handle conflict.
You May Not Reach Resolution, but You Should Reach an Understanding
While it would be great if all conflicts reached a resolution, the truth of the matter is they won’t. However, that’s ok. We’ve been socially conditioned to believe that in order for a conflict to be successfully resolved, there has to be a resolution. That won’t always happen. Reaching an understanding with the other party is also a success. You may not ultimately agree, but understanding the other party’s position is also a win.
Know When to Walk Away
The above tips assume you’re dealing with someone who’s open to resolving or reaching an understanding in a conflict. What do you do, however, when you’re dealing with someone who isn’t willing to meet you halfway? In that situation, you may have to consider whether it’s best to let it go or walk away. Before making a decision, it’s important to weigh your options and have a plan for moving forward.
What tips do you have on how to handle conflict? What do you do when you can’t reach an understanding or resolution? Drop a comment below.
0 Comments