Don’t let these new age “gurus” and experts fool you – if you want better you have to do the work. As a believer, I wholeheartedly agree that faith without works is dead. You can hope, wish and pray all you want, but once you’ve done all that, you have to do the work. In this day and age where most people would love to believe they could get something for nothing, the idea of doing the work is very unpopular. However, I can tell you from my own personal experience, your situation will not get better until you do the work. So, you’re probably wondering, “Well, what is the work?” I’m so glad you asked. While the following points aren’t exhaustive, they’re a good roadmap in terms of what you can expect doing the work to entail.
Decide You Want Better
Doing the work starts with first making a decision that you want better. You’d be surprised at the number of people who want better, but choose to settle for their present circumstances, even though they’re miserable. You’ll never commit to doing the work until you first decide you’re tired of where you are.
In 2016, I remember being at a crossroad in my life and career. I was overworked, underpaid and going nowhere fast. Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t find another job. I’d always been advised, “It’s easier to find a job with a job” and “You don’t leave a job until you have another job.” I was miserable and sick and tired of being sick and tired. The way I saw it, I had two options. Now, I could continue to stay and be miserable or leave and figure it out. I knew things weren’t going to get better on my job – they’d gotten progressively worse over my 11 years there. I knew that I not only wanted better, but I deserved it. Ultimately, I chose to leave and never looked back. Me deciding I wanted better put me on a path to doing the work to make it happen.
Being Honest with Yourself
Part of doing the work requires you to be brutally honest with yourself. We’d all like to believe that bad things just happen to us and that we’re the victims, not the villains. The reality, however, is that we’re a lot more responsible for our circumstances than we’d like to admit.
Financially, I didn’t always make the best choices. While I was underpaid at my old job, I had excess money that I could’ve been saving, investing, etc. I believed I wasn’t making enough money to cover my bills, but that really wasn’t true. Once I sat down and actually counted up how much I made versus my bills, I was able to see that I did have excess money. However, where was it going? I always seemed to have more month than money. I had to get real honest with myself and admit I was an emotional spender who bought unnecessary things to make myself feel better. The truth was my finances were in shambles because I didn’t create a budget and hold myself accountable to sticking to it. It wasn’t until I got honest with myself and committed to being a better steward over my finances that my finances got better. Being honest with yourself is part of doing the work.
Learning and Unlearning
Part of doing the work also means learning and unlearning. Over the course of our lives, we’ve all picked up ideas, information, beliefs and habits that don’t serve us. Daily we’re bombarded with negative messages via television, radio, social media, etc. It’s so easy to pick up ideas and information without having a clue where they came from.
If you want better, you’re going to have to do the work of learning and unlearning. One example of learning and unlearning is this notion of hustling, grinding and working oneself to death in order to progress in life. If you’ve been following Nzuri Noire for any length of time, you already know I believe hustle culture is a scam. Popular culture, however, pushes that hustle and grind message like it’s gospel. I had to unlearn the “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” messaging and learn to rest. Sunday is my favorite day of the week because I rest. Starting my week off from a place of rest has allowed me to be more focused, more productive and less stressed going into the week. Unlearning what didn’t serve me and learning to do things differently truly has helped change my life for the better. Currently, I’m at a better paying job, making more money and working fewer hours. Moreover, I actually enjoy what I do now.
Being Committed
If you want better, you have to be committed. It’s not just enough to want it, you have to be committed doing what it takes to make it happen. Committed is defined as, “Feeling dedication and loyalty to a cause, activity, or job; wholeheartedly dedicated.” Doing the work means not quitting. A lot of times we want things, but quit before they materialize. If you want better, you have to keep going until it happens. That’s the work.
Letting People, Things and Habits Go
Wanting better requires for you to make space for better. That means you’ll probably have to let some people, things and habits go. Letting go can not only be hard, but also very scary. It’s scary to let go of the familiar in exchange for the unknown, with no guarantees it’ll be better. If we’re honest, familiar, no matter how bad it is, brings us a certain level of comfort. At least with the familiar we know what to expect, right? Part of doing the work is identifying the relationships, things and habits in your life that aren’t serving your greater good and letting them go.
Over the past five years, I’ve had to let so much go. Clothes, relationships, habits, etc. They weren’t serving me; all they were doing was taking up space and keeping me stuck. I had to take inventory of my life and let some things go. In a previous post, I told y’all about how I was spending way too much time watching football. For decades it had been one of my favorite past times. Again, looking over my life, I wasn’t anywhere close to where I wanted to be. Spending 20 hours a week on football sure wasn’t the best use of my time either. I had to decide between the comfort of the familiar and the possibility of the unknown. Now, I barely watch television at all and have redirected that time into more productive activities. While it wasn’t easy, it was definitely worth it.
Being Consistent
Doing the work means being consistent. You don’t see results from what you do occasionally you see results from what you do consistently. Being consistent can be rough because you have to do it, even when you don’t feel like it.
Being Okay with Being Uncomfortable
Honestly, doing the work can be painful. If you want better, you have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. It can be very painful being honest about all your bad choices and decisions that have led you to your present state. It was for me. It’s not easy acknowledging and accepting that you’re the problem. It’s just as hard to make the necessary changes for better. Change is uncomfortable. However, if you want better, you have to be okay with being uncomfortable. On the bright side, the discomfort doesn’t last forever. It’s a temporary inconvenience on the road to better.
It can be Lonely
Doing the work to achieve better can be very lonely. Most people talk about change and wanting better, but are unwilling to do the work it takes to achieve better. If you’re committed to doing the work to get where you want to be, just know that you might be traveling that road solo. This is why I mentioned earlier that you might have to let some people go. In your pursuit for better you’ll probably be faced with the choice of staying stuck with the crowd or moving on alone. In your pursuit for better, just know that you might have to go it alone.
It’s an Ongoing Process
Doing the work is an ongoing process. I’d love to tell you that you’ll reach a point where you’re done, but that’d be a lie. Anything that’s obtained must be maintained. Doing the work doesn’t stop once you’ve arrived at your destination; you have to continue to do the work just so that you don’t slip back into that old familiar.
So, what does doing the work mean to you? Drop a comment below. If you found this post helpful, please share it.
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