Do you know your worth? No, I’m not talking about your net worth, what society says you’re worth or what your credit score says you’re worth. I’m talking about your true, intrinsic value. We, especially Black women, have been conditioned by media, family and other outside voices to believe that our worth is tied to everything except our God-given value. Here’s how to clarify your worth:
You’re More Than Your Looks and Body
In this social media, reality television driven world, looks have become currency. If your body, oddy, oddy, oddy, oddy, oddy, oddy doesn’t look like an hourglass, society leads you to believe you’re worth-less. Please know that’s a lie. Neither your body nor looks define your worth. Not to push my personal beliefs on anyone, but I believe a thing’s creator is the only one who can set its value. What has your Creator said about you? We’re all fearfully and wonderfully made. No one’s opinion on your looks changes that. If they didn’t make you, they can’t define your value.
You’re More Than Your Accomplishments
Many of us, myself included, have relied on our accomplishments to bolster our self worth. The more you accomplish, the more praise you receive and that praise feels like an ultimate high. Like any high, however, it always comes down. So then you go off chasing the next accomplishment high and the cycle continues. However, your accomplishments don’t determine your worth. Whether you have a GED or a PhD, you’re still valuable.
You’re More Than Your Past
Your past doesn’t define your worth. We’ve all made our fair share of mistakes. Our mistakes and mishaps don’t define us. Our worth doesn’t drop just because we’ve made bad choices. Yes, we should all learn from our mistakes and make better choices, but we are more than our past mistakes.
You’re More Than Your Relationship Status
Let society tell it, if you’re a woman, you’re nobody unless you belong to somebody. Should that somebody decide to part ways with you, then you’re right back to being nobody. Your relationship status doesn’t define your worth. Whether you’re single, married, divorced or “it’s complicated”, your worth doesn’t change.
You’re More Than Your Material Possessions
Your material possessions don’t define your worth. We live in a capitalistic, materialistic world that puts such a high value on one’s net worth. None of that defines your value. Who you are, as an individual, defines your true value – your character, your integrity, the things money can’t buy. For far too long, these corporations have played on our insecurities and made us believe our value was tied to the type of car we drive, our clothes’ labels or our zip code. Meanwhile, they’re laughing all the way to the bank. There’s nothing wrong with owning nice things or enjoying the finer things in life. By all means, live your best life. Just know your value isn’t tied to what you own.
Your Worth Isn’t Tied to Others’ Approval
What people think about you is none of your business and it sure doesn’t determine your worth. People are fickle and their opinions change like the weather. So if you tie your worth to others’ opinions it’ll be like the stock market – up one day and down the next. You’re valuable no matter what others think.
Your Worth Isn’t Tied to Your Output
Capitalism is really something, isn’t it? It’s convinced most of us that our output defines our worth. So much so that most of us feel guilty for resting, sleeping in or doing absolutely nothing. We feel like if we’re not constantly producing, we’re being wasteful. Whether you’re pulling an all-nighter or resting, your worth is the same – priceless.
Now that you know your worth, how do you maintain that mindset?
Positive Affirmations
It’s not enough to know your worth. Since outside messages are constantly assaulting us, trying to convince us we’re worthless, we have to routinely remind ourselves otherwise. One way to do this is through positive affirmations. Everyday, tell yourself that you’re priceless, you’re worthy and God’s gift to this world. It’s hard to believe you’re worthless hearing that all day.
Positive Information
Make sure you’re taking in positive information. Stop reading social media comments from hate mongers, stop listening to negative news reports or any other information designed to destroy your self worth. No, I’m not suggesting you walk around the world wearing rose-colored glasses, but I don’t believe you should listen to negative, opinion driven garbage either. Replace that negative messaging with positive information.
Positive Associations
Positive associations are vital to maintaining your self-worth. Surround yourself with people who believe in you, know and understand your true worth and help bring out the best in you. We all need a support group that reminds us of our worth when we forget.
So, do you know your worth?