We’ve all heard the saying, “the struggle is real.” While that statement is true in many cases, you know it doesn’t have to stay that way, right? None of us were meant to stay stuck on struggle. Sure, struggle builds strength and character, but it’s never meant to be our permanent condition. At some point, you should be living your best life. Unfortunately, some of us, if we’re being completely honest, are addicted to the struggle. Some of us have, probably unconsciously, made “the struggle” a badge of honor. So, how do you know if you’re addicted to the struggle? Here are a few signs:
You’d Rather Go It Alone vs. Asking for Help
If you’d rather go it alone vs. asking for help, you might be addicted to the struggle. To be fair, many of us have adopted this stance out of experience or necessity. You can’t name the times you’ve asked your family and/or friends for help, but were let down time after time. So, to defend yourself from any more hurt and disappointment, you decided to stop asking for help and go it alone. Here’s the thing though – not everyone is undependable and unreliable. Sure, the people you’ve asked in the past may have been that way, but that doesn’t mean everyone else is. You just have to improve your vetting process. Once you’ve learned better, you do better. Ask for help, but ask the right people. Two can get more done than one. Doing everything for yourself, by yourself will keep you stuck on struggle.
You Only See the Down Side
If you’re a cup half empty type of person, you will probably always struggle. Why? It means you probably have a negative mindset. As the mind goes, the woman follows. You can’t have a positive life with a negative mindset. That might sound cliché, but it’s true. Name a successful person, you know, who has a negative mindset? Don’t worry Sis, I’ll wait…
You Predict Failure Before You Begin
This kind of piggy backs off the previous point, but if you’re predicting failure before you begin, you are not only addicted to the struggle, but you’ll stay stuck on struggle. If you don’t believe better is possible for you, struggle is inevitable.
You’d Rather Stay Where You Are Than Try Something New
Predictability is comforting. It’s comforting to know what to expect, day after day. Comfort, however, is struggle’s favorite first cousin – they go together like black-eyed peas and collard greens. You’ll almost always find them together. Even if you’re not struggling financially, comfort will have you struggling internally because comfort has you playing small. You weren’t created to be small. You were created for greatness. Internally, you know that. And as long as your actions aren’t aligned with your spirit, you will stay struggling. You will always have that struggle between what you have to put up with to remain where you are vs. trying something new in order to get to where you’re meant to be.
If any of this sounds familiar, then you might be on the struggle bus, with a one way ticket to Strugglesville, USA. You don’t have to stay on it though. He’s how you can get off:
Change Your Mindset
Changing your mindset will change your whole life. If you change your mind from it’s impossible to it’s possible, you can’t stay stuck on struggle. Why? Because knowing that better is possible will drive you. It won’t let you be satisfied with settling. To be fair, changing your mind doesn’t happen overnight and it won’t be easy – it’s a process. You didn’t develop a negative mindset overnight and it won’t change that quickly either. Give yourself grace, but do the work. Be mindful of your thoughts. Pay attention to them. As soon as negative thoughts start bubbling up, stop, analyze those thoughts and replace them with something positive. Do that over and over until it becomes a habit.
Change Your Words
Just like you have to change your mindset, you have to change your words. Words are so powerful – your words form your world, so watch what you say about yourself, what you speak over yourself and what you speak into your life. Pay attention to what you’re saying. As soon as you catch yourself talking negative, stop, analyze and replace that negative talk with something positive.
Change Your Circle
Now listen, this isn’t an automatic, but it might be a necessity. Birds of a feather usually tend to flock together, right? When you were on the struggle bus, you probably weren’t riding alone – your whole crew was probably on it too. If you’re set on breaking your struggle addiction, but your people want to stay stuck, you might have to change your circle. You can’t change your situation hanging with people who still speak the language of struggle.
Change Your Expectations
If struggle is what you’ve always known, it’s hard to expect anything else. But trust me when I say, struggle was never meant to be your stay place. You were meant for more, you deserve more, so expect more. Now, you’ll have to put some work with those expectations, Sis, but expect that better is possible for you.
What are some other signs that you might be addicted to the struggle. Drop a comment below.
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