I don’t know who needs to hear this, but Sis, stop talking so much. Now, I might sound a little harsh, but trust me, it’s all love. Have you ever heard the saying you’re hung by your tongue? That’s pretty much along the same lines. While social media has normalized over sharing, it’s really best to say less. There are so many reasons why it’s best not to talk so much, but here are a few reasons why it’s best to pause and think before you speak:
It’s Unwise
Talking too much is unwise. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again – we, as a people, Black people, talk too damn much. If you want to know what’s going on with us, one need only jump on social media to find out. We air all our internal community grievances, issues, insecurities, vulnerabilities and business on the socials. And you know what that does? It makes all our business available to everyone, including our enemies. From a personal standpoint, when you put all your business out there, you’re doing the same thing. You’re giving everyone access to all your insecurities, vulnerabilities and issues. That’s unwise because not everyone cares about you. So, the next time you feel the need to publicly unload your business, stop and ask yourself, “Is this the wise thing to do?”
It’s Unhealthy
Talking too much is unhealthy. It’s unhealthy to unload all your personal business on people you don’t know or barely know. You have no idea if those you’ve over shared with are safe spaces or can be trusted with your transparency. If we’re being honest, how many of us have told things to people and later wished we hadn’t after that information had been used and weaponized against us? Talking too much to the wrong people can leave you feeling betrayed, embarrassed and upset. So, when in doubt, say less.
It’s Unhelpful
Rarely, if ever, does talking too much yield helpful results. In fact, it usually causes more problems than anything. Again, talking too much to the wrong people usually results in your business being shared, rather than you getting help. So, unless you want to be the topic of discussion around the office water cooler, Sis, stop talking so much.
Wanting to talk and connect with others is a natural, normal, human need. However, when it comes to that deep, personal business, those topics are best protected by boundaries. So, when you do need to talk, here are a few suggestions on where and how to do it safely:
Tell a Good Girlfriend
If you’ve got something to say and you need to get it off your chest, tell it to a good girlfriend. You know, the type that’ll take her and your secrets to the grave. Good girlfriends are the ones who you’ve properly vetted and have earned your trust. So, instead of putting your business out in the streets, call up your good girlfriend.
Tell a Therapist
If you have the luxury of having a therapist, use him/her. Not only can your therapist lend an ear to your problem(s), s/he can also offer solid direction or advice. Furthermore, outside of a few exceptions, your therapist has a obligation to keep your business under wraps.
Tell Your Journal
Journaling, in my opinion, is one of the best and safest ways to unload all of your thoughts, feelings and emotions. You can say as much as you want to say, however you want to say it, without the fear of being criticized or judged. A lot of times the act of getting those feelings and emotions out of your head and on to paper are more helpful than telling someone else.
So, what are your thoughts? Do we talk too much or not enough? Drop a comment below.
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