Would You Want to be in a Relationship With You?

Many times we ask others what they bring to the table in a relationship, but ask yourself – would you want to be in a relationship with you? Now, when I say relationship, I’m not just talking about romantic relationships. I’m talking about friendships, business relationships, etc. Asking the question if you would want to be in a relationship with you helps you to take inventory of just how you show up in relationships.

Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You

Do you treat others the way you want to be treated? You absolutely should demand respect and well treatment in your relationships. However, are you willing to give as good as you demand? Don’t be the one perpetuating a one-sided relationship. All healthy relationships are rooted in reciprocity. Would you want to be the one in a relationship always giving, but never receiving? Well, of course not. So make sure that you’re treating others the same way you want to be treated and no less.

How Do You Measure Up?

Are you all that you demand from others? Now, don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing wrong with having high standards. However, are you able to meet the same standards you want to impose on others? Are you caring? How considerate are you? Are you respectful? Are you giving or are you selfish? Could your expectations be unrealistic? This list could go on and on, but you get the point. Don’t demand a million dollar relationship on a shoestring budget. Don’t set standards so high in your relationships that not even you can meet them. And please, make sure you’re living up to the standards that you’ve set for others. It’s only right that you give as good as you expect to receive.

There’s Always Room for Improvement

Now, let’s say that you’re treating others the way you want to be treated and you measure up to the standards that you’ve set for others. Guess what? There’s always room for improvement. While no one is perfect, there are areas where we could all stand some improvement. Self-reflection is very important, especially in relationships.

If, after self-reflecting, you’re unable to find areas where you need to improve, ask those whom you’re in relationship with. We all have blind spots, so a lot of times it’s hard for us to see where we may be coming up short. Now, when they tell you where you could use some improvement, don’t get mad. Their constructive feedback will not only help you grow, but will also help to improve your relationships. Furthermore, you should want people in your life who are willing to tell you the truth, no matter what.

Finally…

Hopefully this article helped to shine a light on the importance for our need to cultivate healthy relationships. We have to be active participants in creating and maintaining our relationships’ health. Part of that process requires that we examine ourselves to make sure we’re not placing demands on others that we can’t or are unwilling to meet ourselves. One-sided relationships create unbearable strain on the one doing all the heavy lifting, so make sure you’re not guilty of failing to carry your weight. Be honest with yourself and ask, would you want to be in a relationship with you?