Relationships are important. We all need relationships and there isn’t an area of our lives that our relationships don’t touch. Not all relationships are created equal – just as the right relationships can lift you up, the wrong ones can bring you down. The relationships you want to cultivate, maintain and engage are the healthy ones. While this list is far from exhaustive, here are six tips on how to maintain healthy relationships:
Take Care Of You, First
One tip for maintaining healthy relationships is to take care of you first. As women, we’re often programmed to put everyone else’s needs before our own – significant other’s, kids, boss, friends, etc. We often put our needs and ourselves at the bottom of the list. Sometimes, we even allow others make us feel “selfish” for putting ourselves first. Well, guess what? It’s not selfish to take care of yourself first. As the saying goes – you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re empty, depleted and worn down, what do you have to pour into anyone else? The best way to maintain healthy relationships with others is to maintain one with you first. When you’re at your best, you can give your best to others.
Set Boundaries
Another tip for maintaining healthy relationships is to set boundaries. Boundaries are necessary in any healthy relationship. No one should have unfettered access to you or the right to treat you any old kind of way. That’s why you have to set boundaries. Boundaries help you teach people how to treat you. What do boundaries look like? Putting your phone on do-not-disturb, and only being available to a select few, in case of emergency; lovingly checking a friend who tries to talk to you sideways; respectfully sticking to your guns and loving people from afar when they demonstrate that they can’t respect your boundaries.
Every Person In Her Place
Putting every person in her place is another important tip for maintaining healthy relationships. One of the biggest hurdles I’ve had to overcome in establishing healthy relationships was putting people in the right categories. I found myself constantly getting my feelings hurt when I put acquaintances or work colleagues in the friend category and expected them to act like friends. Friends are the ones who have earned their stripes and your trust, over time, through experience. Acquaintances and work colleagues haven’t. They haven’t earned the same level of access and trust as friends. Once I properly categorized relationships and adjusted my expectations accordingly, those relationships turned out just fine.
Go Where You’re Celebrated, Not Tolerated (Or Berated)
Paying attention to how others treat you is important to maintaining healthy relationships. Healthy relationships don’t leave you feeling like you’re not enough. They don’t leave you feeling like you have to do more to earn the other person’s approval. Healthy relationships are beneficial, for both parties; they’re not one sided. Healthy relationships leave you feeling energized, inspired and motivated. If you’re dealing with a relationship that leaves you feeling exhausted and depleted, you may need to step back and reevaluate that connection.
Evaluate Growth
Healthy relationships promote growth. And growth isn’t always comfortable. Healthy relationships call you out on your bs, when necessary, and push you to be the best version of yourself. Anything that’s living and healthy grows. Evaluate whether or not your current relationships are growing. If they aren’t, evaluate why not.
Talk About It
Communication is another key to maintaining healthy relationships. Real talk, if you spend enough time with anyone, y’all are going to rub each other the wrong way. It’s impossible to get along with another person 100% of the time. That’s normal. However, healthy relationships require that the parties in the relationship be able to talk to each other about those things, without the relationship falling apart. If you intend to maintain healthy relationships, you have to be able to talk about and resolve those things that threaten the relationship.
What tips do you have for maintaining healthy relationships? Drop a comment below.
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